


Smokescreens and cigarettes.

by baby345



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Spies & Secret Agents, Angst and Humor, Attempt at Humor, Established Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Fight Sex, Fist Fights, Flirting, Flirting While Fighting, Implied Sexual Content, Kozume Kenma is a Little Shit, M/M, Married Couple, Mr & Mrs Smith AU, Non-Graphic Violence, Secret Identity, Spies & Secret Agents, They are sent to kill each other, lovers to enemies than back to lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-13 16:15:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28656318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baby345/pseuds/baby345
Summary: “We have suspicions that your husband is a rival organization spy sent to get all of the information he can on you and kill you when it’s done.”Kuroo had to blink a couple of times to process what was said to him.“Kenma? My Kenma? I’m sorry you must have the wrong person, you can’t be  talking about the same man who makes me carry him to the kitchen in the morning because he's too lazy to move!”Or kuroo finds out his husband is actually a spy sent to kill him, so now he has 24 hours to kill him first.
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 10
Kudos: 136





	Smokescreens and cigarettes.

**Author's Note:**

> The ending is kinda Meh, but I just wanted to try my hand at a Mr & Mrs. smith AU with these two! They would fit so well lol

Kuroo Tetsurō cursed silently under his breath when he heard movement from the kitchen, he straightened up his back before turning around with a plastered on smile.

He was hoping his husband hadn’t been home yet, or if he was, that he’ll be in his office Gaming. 

“Oh kuro, your home early.” The faux blonde drawled from his place in front of the stove.

He looked adorable in kuroo’s old college shirt that slid off one shoulder and reached mid thigh. How was he supposed to believe that this man was plotting on killing him? 

“Yea.. the guys at work sent me home early, wanted me to have an early start on my new assignment.” He winced at just what his new assignment was. 

“ _We have suspicions that your husband is a rival organization spy sent to get all of the information he can on you and kill you when it’s done.”_

_Kuroo had to blink a couple of times to process what was said to him._

_“Kenma? My Kenma? I’m sorry you must have the wrong person, you can’t be talking about the same man who makes me carry him to the kitchen in the morning because he's too lazy to move!”_

_Nekomata sighed and clapped kuroo on the back in sympathy._

_“Look son, I like kenma, and I know how much you love him. But if you are his target, you could very well be in danger. My sources tell me that he is a highly proficient and capable agent who has never missed a shot. Son, how much do you actually know about what he does for a living? And think long and hard about anytime he stayed out later than usual or had bruises that didn’t match up.”_

_The wild haired man wanted to argue and tell him that his husband couldn’t hurt a fly, but then he could recall plenty of times his beaten Kenma home when he knew for a fact the man told him he wouldn't be working late, or while they were making love, he’ll notice bruises painted on alabaster skin that wasn’t there that morning.  
  
_

_slowly his mind worked through all the times Kenma reflexes were a little too sharp, or that his physique for somebody who supposedly sat at his desk all day developing games were a little too toned. Kenma didn’t even like walking, let alone exercising._

_The spy sighed. “What do you need me to do then?”_

_The head of their department sent him a look of pity before sliding the folder of all the information he gathered forward._

_“Your next mission is to find out exactly who kuroo Kenma works for, and to eliminate him before he does you.”_

_Kuroo took the folder and hoped his boss couldn’t see how bad his hands were shaking._

_“Understood.”_

“Hungry?” Kenma softly asked. Those gold eyes seemed to see right through him and he started sweating, did Kenma know he was onto him?

When did he exactly plan on getting rid of kuroo? They had been married for three years, that was a long time to wait just to kill somebody. 

Kuroo walked up and kissed his husband gently. Tangled his hands in long hair, and felt his heart skip a beat in his chest, if it was true how the fuck was he suppose to kill the love of his fucking life?

Slipping his hand free and pulling back, he gave the other an apologetic look and tried to move around the smaller man. 

“No, I ate at the office, thanks though.” 

Kenma had grabbed his hand before he could slip away and tugged him back before he got too far.

“At Least join me then, I’ve missed you.” 

That immediately had alarm bells ringing through his head. Kenma was not one to show a lot of affection, it was like pulling teeth just to get him to say I love you back on a good day, so to have him freely admit that he missed him. That was a huge red flag. 

“Did you now?”

Kenma didn’t answer, just dropped his hand and only grabbed his plate and utensils before walking away, wordlessly telling the taller man to follow.

“Have a seat.”

The long haired man had led Kuroo to their dining room table and had set his spot before nimble fingers grabbed him to sit down.

He watched his husband carefully, he didn’t know if it was because of his recent discovery but he felt like he was seeing the man in a new light. His husband walked with silent footsteps and had careful fingers. Too silent actually.

  
He tried to keep an eagle eye the whole time on his husband, until he disappeared back into the kitchen to grab glasses and their favorite bottle of Moët.

“ _Be careful agent one, he is dangerous, one of the best on his team.”_

Kuroo was on pins and needles, and nearly jumped out of his seat when Kenma approached him from behind.

kuroo noted he had changed, His jacket swamped his lithe form, and his blonde hair covered his face and shoulders, hiding his expression from kuroo. 

“How was work today babe?” Kenma's voice was monotone and deathly calm. “Anything interesting happened?”

The black haired man stiffened. Was he testing his knowledge? Or was he just toying with him? He discretely checked to make sure he still had his handgun and his favorite knife on him. 

“No, nothing really. Being a businessman is pretty boring babe, you know how it is.” He replied cautiously. 

“Actually I don’t, why don’t you tell me a little more about it Tetsurō?”

He placed the glass down but Kuroo noted he never let moved his hand far from the butter knife he set.

The only sound was the wine being poured, The tension in the air was thick and could be cut with a knife.

The pressure was building and wasn’t released until Kenma hummed and pulled the bottle away from their full cups. 

“kitten?” 

Kenma turned those gold eyes to him and blinked innocently before they hardened.

“Oops.” He breathed.

without breaking eye contact, Kenma let the bottle go, and without thinking kuroo reached out and caught it with one hand.

He didn’t realize it was a trap until he was too late. 

Fuck.

He released it a second later, let the sound of the bottle shattering break the silence, and he wasted no time shooting out of his seat as Kenma plunged the butter knife where his throat would have been. 

He scrambled backwards, stood at the ready, watched his husband lazily examine him. As if seeing him for the first time.

Kenma hummed and dug the knife out of the chair. He stepped around it and sidestepped the mess on the floor.

His face was a perfect mask of cold indifference, gone was his playful and sarcastic husband, in its place stood agent feline, a skilled and proficient killer.

Kenma had one hand loosely in his pocket, and kuroo wasn’t too keen to find out what he was holding. 

“How long?” 

“How long what?” 

“How long you've been using me as your cover and lying to my face?” Kenma snarled before he threw the knife at him and darted out their living room on nimble feet.

Kuroo cursed as the knife caused him to drop his gun and he hurried to pick it up. 

He yelped as Kenma threw another knife, this one sharper then their dull butter knife behind him. If it wasn’t for the fact that he had fast reflexes, he would be dead. 

“ Me? You lied to me Kenma! Or is that even your real name?” 

  
  


“Fuck you!” 

He raised his gun and shot at him just as he rounded the corner and when it missed he raced him to the stairs, only to have to dodge as Kenma threw paintings and vases down to slow him down.

He knew he could have easily taken another shot but he was still hesitant, this was his husband after all, even if he did try and kill him. 

But it didn’t seem like Kenma had that same problem as he threw whatever he could get his hands on, and when kuroo caught up with him, the blonde quickly resorted to fighting him hand to hand.

Slender hands threw punch after punch as they both struggled to gain the upper hand.

  
  


“You used me!” Kenma snarled. “So now I’ll use you for my mission!”

He couldn’t keep a solid hold on his gun as Kenma blocked all of his attempts at positioning it correctly lest he accidentally shot himself.

He’ll be impressed at his normally impassive husband if frustration wasn’t quickly mounting.

“Kenma can’t we talk about this?” He pleaded, tried to make a last ditch effort to subdue the other spy, only to get an elbow to the face and his wrist snatched up and squeezed hard enough for the gun to be released.

It cluttered against the staircase before it slipped through the railing. Now with them both on even ground, hands were flying at a rapid speed. 

“No more talking.” Kema snarled.

While kuroo was impressed and could clearly see that his husband earned his spot along the top spies, he wasn’t too shabby himself.

For every hit Kenma landed, he paid him back two fold. Blood gushed out his own nose and the making of an impressive black eye was circling golden eyes. 

“You won’t listen to me? Then fine I’ll make you listen.” 

Kenma backed up as best as he could and raised his set. The younger man had the stance of a pro. 

“I’ll like to see you try.” 

Despite his heart hammering in his chest, excitement ran through his veins like fire. He hadn’t had a good fight like this in a long time, hadn’t had anybody who could go toe to toe with him, could not only give him a run for his money, but match him. The stakes were high and they were both evenly matched in such a crowded space. He felt _alive_.   
  


Smirking in that way his friends always called “smarmy,” he mockingly did a come hither motion.

  
  


“Come to daddy kitten.” 

  
  


Two jabs had Kenma hunched over before he had gathered enough strength to tackle kuroo into the wall, pain blossomed in his skill as his head bounced off the drywall, thinking fast, kuroo wrapped his arms around that small waist and threw the other man up to hit the low ceiling.

didn’t give himself anytime to feel bad when the golden eyed beauty hit the ground with a heavy thud and curled in on himself. 

“Sorry babe, all’s fair in love and war.” Kuroo cooed. 

He tried to dart around him to make it to the bedroom only to be tackled from behind and put in a chokehold with the other sending hit after hit into his head.

Agony bloomed as each hit nearly concussed him, and it only let up when he managed to ram Kenma hard enough into the wall to make him let go, but before he could even get his bearings, their wedding portrait was smashed on his head and he was kicked onto the bed. Starts erupted behind his eyes and he groaned. 

Kenma chuckled and blew a piece of long ombré colored hair out his face. “Who’s your daddy now?” He was panting and his jacket had been torn in their fight. But dammit he still looked so beautiful. 

“Still not you, baby doll.” He snipped. 

“Give it up agent one, you’ve gotten old.” 

  
  


Kuroo yelped and dodged the kick aimed at his chest as he rolled off the bed, he yanked their covers so the smaller man rolled off on the other side.

He couldn’t help but feel victorious when he heard Kenma's frustrated growl as he scrambled quickly to get up.

Kuroo reached under their dresser for his gun, and spun around to face the other spy, Only to see another gun straight at his face as well. They were in a standstill. 

The tension that held such a strong hold on them since kuroo came home, seemed to bleed out as they both waited to see what the other would do.

“My, my kitten keeping guns in the bedroom? Kinky.” 

Kenma narrowed gold eyes and tightened his hold on his gun. It felt like the ocean was between them as they faced off on each side of their king size bed. 

“Shut the fuck up agent one.” Kenma's voice cracked and he hoped the other agent didn’t notice. 

Because looking at him, Kenma realized that the man he loved for the past three years, he didn’t know him at all. Kuroo was the one normal fucking thing in his life and he looked forward to coming home and relaxing with him.

Every mission he kept kuroo on his mind to remind himself that he had somebody to come home too, somebody to kiss, laugh with, cook with and just exist with. 

Now it was all over. He didn’t want to admit that the thought of the life he came to love, the man he had loved wholeheartedly had only married him for nothing more but a cover story, broke his heart.

Kuroo studied him intensely, took one look at glittering gold eyes and sighed. He lowered his gun. 

“What are you doing? Raise your gun Kuro!” 

  
  


The black haired man shook his head and let the gun drop out of his hands, the sound of it hitting the floor had Kenma flinching. 

“You want the kill? It’s yours kitten.” Kuroo sank down on the bed and slowly inched his way across it to let the muzzle of his husband’s gun connect with his forehead.

He was a weak man when it came to one kuroo kenma. Even if the past three years were a lie, he would gladly do them all over again if it meant he got to marry and love Kenma. His mentor always told him his big heart would get him killed.

Kenma let out a breath and it sounded far too much like a sob for his liking, and pressed the gun harder on his husband’s forehead.

”I’ll kill you! Don’t think I won’t!” 

Kuroo wrapped steady hands on the other man’s waist and smiled. “Even if all these years were just a mission for you, even if our whole marriage was built on a pile of lies, I really do love you kuroo kenma and I’ll gladly give my life for your mission. Till death do us part right?” 

The faux blonde couldn’t even see straight anymore and his hands were shaking too much for him to take a clean shot, even with the man right in front of him.

Kuroo let go of his waist and reached up, plucked the gun out of the assassin’s hand and threw it out of his reach so he could softly grab his face to kiss him.

  
  


Tears ran over their lips, but he didn’t care, he maneuvered Kenma onto the bed and covered his body with his own.

Let his hands caress and touch him, could feel Kenma do the same as elegant fingers ran across his shoulders and tugged at wild locks, that fire that threatened to consume everything in its wake earlier, seemed to be doused under loving open mouth kisses. 

Kuroo licked at the back of straight teeth, and the roof of the blonde’s mouth, just the way he liked it. And sure enough, Kenma moaned out his approval, his fingers tightening in his hair to let him know how much he loved it.

The kiss turned hotter and sloppy but neither cared. 

  
  


Tetsurō broke the kiss and licked the extra drool that dripped down the other’s chin. 

“It was never a cover for me.” 

“What?” Kenma replied in a daze. Kuroo kissed him again, just because he was so cute when his flushed cheeks and half lidded eyes. 

“I didn’t marry you for a cover. I married you because I loved you, you were never just a cover to me.” 

  
  


Kenma bit his full lips, looking shyly back at the broader man.

  
  


His hands tightened on his shirt, before yanking on it. Getting the hint, Tetsurō took it off and tugged off the hoodie and shirt the lithe spy had on as well, tossing it off the bed. 

“I’ll burn down that whole agency and then some for you Kenma. I won’t let them separate us.” 

Kenma closed his eyes and kissed kuroo again, just a simple press of their lips but it conveyed all Kenma wanted to say. 

_My love for you was never a lie, I’ll fight for you too, your the love of my life._

“You really do love me?” 

“ with all my heart.”

Kenma relaxed back into the covers and spread his legs. 

  
  


“Then show me.”

Kuroo smirked. “Gladly kitten.” 

  
  
  


By the time either of their agencies descended on their house they were long gone, the only thing left were rumpled sheets and destruction. 


End file.
